Family is the most important primary group in society. Family and marriage are considered to be the two pillars of any society and as such they are the two most important societal institutions. In India, traditionally and from time immemorial, marriage has been hallowed as sacred; and marriage for most Indians is not merely a sacrament but is sacrosanct. Once the couple enters into the bond of marriage, the relationship is considered perpetual—till death does them apart. In other words, marriage used to be for life and it worked as a bulwark against social vulnerabilities. It had an inbuilt system of checks and balances, and roles and priorities were defined by the society for the couple. What distinguished marriage in India from marriage in the West was the sanctity attached to marriage: a sense of perpetual bonding and an element of divinity in it.
The phenomenon of divorce, however, is not new to India, and it has existed at all times in known history. But it was resorted to only in extreme cases where there was unbearable cruelty, desertion, mental illness, impotence/infertility, and infidelity. But it is no longer so.
With the new strains and challenges that have emerged for the Indian family, the latter has been going through a new kind of transition. It has been wavering between traditional and Western models. The fast-changing social and family environment has thrown up new challenges, particularly to the young people, like growing instability, lack of communication, changing attitude towards sex, changing roles of husband and wife, and tensions of fast life. All these have resulted in the lack of harmony among married couples. The decline in harmony can be associated with values that emphasise individualistic, materialistic and self-oriented goals over family well-being.
Higher Incidence of Divorce:
Not only is the incidence of divorce in Indian society increasing but also the underlying causes of divorce have been assuming a new dimension or getting a new impetus, if not entirely changing. The underlying forces of change have been giving a new meaning to the causes of disharmony. It is not that conflict, for example, due to incompatible personalities did not exist earlier, but the fact is that it has become more vibrant and open. Factors such as incompatibility of personalities etc. have all existed in the past, but what is new is that the tolerance threshold seems to have slided down while the egos of individuals have risen remarkably.
An extensive study of the working of family courts in urban India by a Mumbai-based legal activist indicated that whereas in 1995, 2055 couples filed for divorce in Mumbai, in 2004, the number went up to 3400 in that city alone. In the eight matrimonial district courts of Delhi, at an average of 25 divorce petitions were filed every day in 2004. In Bangalore the number increased threefold from 653 in 1988 to 1861 in 2002. In Kolkata the number has gone up from 1633 in 1966 to 2388 in 2003. Seventy per cent of these figures represent divorces in the age-group of 25-35. In Kolkata, divorce cases have gone up nearly 200 per cent in the last few years. (India Today, February 28, 2005)
According to a consultant psychiatrist of Kolkata’s Belle Vue Nursing Home, nearly six out of ten married couples now require counseling to prevent break-ups and for every five weddings registered in Mumbai in the past five years, there have been two divorce applications—an increase of nearly 50 per cent. (Hindustan Times, February 17, 2008)
A very recent report points out that of the 1.3 lakh marriages registered every year in Delhi, about 10,000 do not live happily ever after. Alarmed by this, the Delhi Commission for Women (DCW) has set up a pre-marital counseling cell where young men and women and their parents can call for help and guidance. (Hindustan Times, July 29, 2008) Because of increasing number of young couples resorting to divorce, six more family courts have come up in Delhi since the late nineties to deal with over 9000 cases of matrimonial disputes.
An extensive study of 243 individual respondents, directly involved in disputes and who had approached some external formal agency [Marital Dispute Resolving Agency (MDRA)] for intervention, mediation or help, revealed that the main causes of marital discord (male and female taken together and in descending order) were (Jamwal, 1998):
Overall, the three prominent main causes (with 20 per cent or more incidence), which contributed to marital discord, were personality related behaviours/tendencies including deficiencies/disorders (24 per cent), material/monetary gains through marriage (23 per cent), and incompatibility (21 per cent).
A comparison of the data regarding marital discord between male and female respondents, as per the above study, brought out the following four main distinctive features:
1. While as many as 46 per cent of the male respondents attributed the main cause of their marital discord to ‘incompatibility’ factors, far fewer, that is, 11 per cent female respondents attributed the main cause to such factors.
2. For as many as one-third of female respondents, the main cause of marital problem was ‘material/monetary gains through marriage (mainly dowry)
3. Personality related behaviours/tendencies (including deficiencies/disorders) were reported more by female respondents than by male respondents (27 per cent vs 19 per cent).
4. More female than male respondents reported ‘desertion’ as the main cause (13 per cent vs three per cent).
In a study of 1165 cases from four urban cities—Mumbai, Pune, Aurangabad and Nagpur—concerned with the reasons for divorce, the researchers found that most couples seeking divorce were educated, between 25 and 35 years of age, and childless. Though they had arranged marriages and lived in joint families, seventy per cent break-ups took place due to reasons which included temperamental differences (apart from financial issues, family interference, dowry, and adultery). Eightyfive per cent called off their marriage within the first five years. (Desai and Bhujbal, 2004)
In the present scenario what is new is not only the growing number of divorces but also a qualitative difference in the undercurrents of the causes leading to marital discord and divorce. The social/societal stigma attached to divorce is also diminishing. Divorce is no longer a dirty word. A kind of social transformation that may lie at the crux of today’s marriage splits is the growing tolerance of society for divorcees. Divorced people are no longer looked down and judged by “there-must-have-been-something-wrong-with-him/her” kind of comments. They do not now have horns on their heads.
Divorce by Mutual Consent
More young people are filing for divorce, some in the first year of their marriage. Most of these divorces are mutual consent petitions. According to one estimate, the amicable separation within the first year of marriage has increased by 30 per cent since 2000. Contrary to what prevailed earlier, more women are initiating divorce proceedings. The society seems to be accepting the fact that divorcees need companionship. An increasing number of women are now hoping to click with someone online. For example, as reported (Hindustan Times, February 17, 2008), seven per cent of all registered women on jeevansathi.com are divorcees, as against four per cent of all male users.
Divorce is no longer a taboo and a divorced daughter is not unwelcome in her parents’ home even in small towns. Social trends originating in metros slowly percolate down to smaller towns and from there to villages. In the new socio-economic environment, women in small towns do not feel shy of walking out of marriage.
In the present environment two main causes/reasons stand out:
• Assertion of independence; and the
• Diminishing urge/capacity for adjustment.
These two factors, though different, are not unrelated to each other.
Assertion of freedom and the need for individual space, characterised by ambition and the fast pace of life, have created new pressures on marriage. For many career-oriented girls, their career, success and money are more important and hence get more priority over family. Priority of job over relationship is now an observable phenomenon. One partner likes films, the other the theatre; one wants to dance at night and get up late in the morning, the other wants to study and get up early in the morning. The words like “I hate you” and “I can’t stand you” have become commonplace. ‘Me’ and ‘you’ are now replacing ‘we’ and ‘us’. Psychological tiredness is one of the new realities, not much known earlier.
Many of the young divorces are the result of violent ego clashes. In many ways, these are the stresses of changing times and are generational issues and arise from work stress and changing mores. Unfortunately, however, the issues at dispute sometimes are so trivial that they do not fall in the age-old but still common factors like dowry harassment, impotence and the mother-in-law factor. Sixty per cent divorce cases, according to one Allahabad-based family court lawyer, relate to trivial issues. Today’s Indian wife has a mind of her own which unsettles the patriarchal male. For instance, it is interesting to note that a seven-year-old love marriage, in Darjeeling, went on the rocks because the man and his wife had different political affiliations. Obviously, the intolerance for each other is soaring and the tolerance threshold is declining.
Job opportunities for women have multiplied over the recent past, giving them economic independence. This motivates them to choose out of a bad marriage, particularly when they have no kids. Because of the opportunities the present-day work environment provides to the young people for closer interaction at the workplace and liberal views of the new generation, extra-marital relationship including sexual relationship, have become a common malaise over the recent past, especially if there is a context of a failed/failing marriage. It is a well-known fact that, with modern methods of contraception available, many a couple delays starting a family. In a way, these are the compulsions of modern times.
As many of the female spouses today are well educated and employed on good jobs, they have become quite conscious of their rights. They also expect cooperation and adjustment from their husbands. While women have tended to become assertive, many of the males, on their part, have not learnt to adapt to the new situation. Our society is in transition, in a state of flux. While old values are getting uprooted, the new value system has not got sufficiently entrenched. The frequent ego clashes may be the consequence of this fluid situation.
With the elderly sane counsel or intervention of the joint family system that earlier used to ensure the stability of the young couple’s marriage being largely not available or absent today, small differences get magnified in the nuclear family of today. While the level of intolerance has gone up, there is a diminishing urge/capacity for adjustment. In the early days, the non-likable personality traits, which got to be known after marriage and which led to sulks or temporary suspension of intimacy, are now resulting in divorce.
The assertion of independence and diminishing capacity for adjustment quickly gives rise to the emergence of a feeling of incompatibility. The couples are tempted to conclude that they are incompatible to each other. The so-called temperamental differences get highlighted.
Adjustment and Understanding:
Though, in general, incompatibility may arise from a number of factors such as: differences in values and beliefs; differences in educational, socio-economic status/level; differences in life style/social orientation; differences in personality characteristics, including temperament differences, differences in sexual behaviors; and differences in likes, dislikes, tastes, hobbies etc., however, it may be noted that no two persons can be totally compatible in temperament and behavior, even siblings may not be. In marriage two individuals with often-different backgrounds come together. The thinking, attitudes, mindsets and behavioral patterns cannot be expected to be similar or exactly matching. It naturally takes some time to know and understand each other. The understanding, resulting in compatibility in marriage, can thus develop only gradually and, further, if there is a desire to adjust with each other.
The essence of success in marriage is nothing but “understanding” which also means understanding of each other’s compulsions. Adjustment requires not only the merging or submerging of two personalities, but closer interaction to complement each other for mutual satisfaction and the achievement of common objectives. Conceptually, the two main elements of marital adjustment are cohesion and affection. This is not to say that there would always be perfect adjustment. Since marriage involves two persons, perfect adjustment is a myth. Some differences at times may take place or are inevitable. Perceptions about life, its problems and solutions are individualistic and vary from person to person. Speaking even about religion, Dr Radhakrishnan once said: “Religion is behaviour, not mere belief.”
From the practical standpoint, the concept of adjustment between husband and wife is not that of assimilating the one into the other but of togetherness and simultaneity in behaviour with the greatest possible level of feeling for each other. Marital cohesiveness is the glue that holds partners together. The other side of cohesiveness is marital commitment, that is, the desire to stay in the marriage relationship through thick and thin, good times and bad times over the years of marital life. Commitment springs from emotional bonding and the belief about the permanence of marriage per se. The greatest chance of divorce is where partners feel a lack of cohesiveness and are not committed to making the marriage last, despite personal dedications. (Jamwal, 1998, 232)
All said and done, however, despite the new strains on the marriage and the increasing number of divorces being filed or taking place, the faith in the universality of marriage as an institution remains unshaken in our society and will continue to be so in the foreseeable future. The survival of the family unit, in a large measure, is dependent on the ability of the family to absorb and adapt to the external challenges. And it should be explored how this adaptability or capacity to absorb the likely strains can be fortified in society.
http://www.mainstreamweekly.net/article1593.html
Articles in this blog are copied and pasted from various other sites. I want to create at least a minimum awareness among people to understand our politicians and religion. This will help our nation to weed-out corruption at all level
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Wedding is a Divine Blessing....!!!
Dear readers,
Today I read a news in Maalai Malar i.e. dated 24.6.2010 (http://www.maalaimalar.com/2010/06/24112910/fifty-five-thousands-diverse-c.html). It says, in India, more than 55,000 couples have filed divorce petition and they are waiting for judgment. For some, it is a news. But I do not take it merely a News, rather, I started to think it over as to what made them to apply for divorce. The news further goes on that it takes at least 3 to 4 years for a couple to get divorced. In some cases the time exceeds more than 4 years. Hence, the Government is considering to make amendments in Hindu Marriage Act 1955 in view of making the Law simple for the petitioners to get speedy judgment. Neither the Government nor the Court wants to impose stringent Laws that could help the petitioners to find out their own solution and settling the conflicts without going to a Court. All they want is speedy disposals and there is no room for Humanity as far as the Law is concerned. Already the Court has passed on an Order in Kushboo's case that pri-marital sex is not an offense and an adult man and an adult woman can stay together, if they wish. It is none of anyone's business. In other words, if they are willing they can stay together without the need of Marriage and they can have conjugal relationship between them.
In India, the parents spend their hard-earned money from 5 to 10 lakhs for the wedding of their children and some are taking loan from the available sources at higher interest rate, just to fulfill their commitment. The petitioners for divorce have so many reasons for applying divorce but they don't think about the rest. Some are applying for divorce even after 10 years and have children. They don't mind the welfare of the children. There are no concrete grounds for them to go for divorce but just a little bit of disagreement is enough.
There is no issue in this world that could be hard to find solutions. The Government should plan to set up a counseling body in every district head quarter under the supervision of any reputable person/s and give the petitioners a chance to reconsider their decision. The Courts should take up the case for divorce only under the recommendations of this committee. Doing so will help the couples to lead a happy life forgetting the silly mistakes.
I request marrieds to stay united till the very end of your life and help those who are in need of guidance. Above all talk to one another and find out ways to solve any problem instead of blaming each other. According to the way you were brought up, give first place to God in your life Who is the Master of Universe. Its according to the plan of God you two have been chosen together and married. No man has ever decided it. Particularly for Hindus, there are ample lessons for them to learn from the lives of their ancestors and Epics like Ramayana. There are people to help them out in times of troubles if the couples are ready to speak out.
Here in this blog I have republished one or two articles analyzing the reasons for couples applying for divorce. However such statistics will not be going to help anyway but at least one can understand the menace of "divorce" culture.
Umashankar. K
Today I read a news in Maalai Malar i.e. dated 24.6.2010 (http://www.maalaimalar.com/2010/06/24112910/fifty-five-thousands-diverse-c.html). It says, in India, more than 55,000 couples have filed divorce petition and they are waiting for judgment. For some, it is a news. But I do not take it merely a News, rather, I started to think it over as to what made them to apply for divorce. The news further goes on that it takes at least 3 to 4 years for a couple to get divorced. In some cases the time exceeds more than 4 years. Hence, the Government is considering to make amendments in Hindu Marriage Act 1955 in view of making the Law simple for the petitioners to get speedy judgment. Neither the Government nor the Court wants to impose stringent Laws that could help the petitioners to find out their own solution and settling the conflicts without going to a Court. All they want is speedy disposals and there is no room for Humanity as far as the Law is concerned. Already the Court has passed on an Order in Kushboo's case that pri-marital sex is not an offense and an adult man and an adult woman can stay together, if they wish. It is none of anyone's business. In other words, if they are willing they can stay together without the need of Marriage and they can have conjugal relationship between them.
In India, the parents spend their hard-earned money from 5 to 10 lakhs for the wedding of their children and some are taking loan from the available sources at higher interest rate, just to fulfill their commitment. The petitioners for divorce have so many reasons for applying divorce but they don't think about the rest. Some are applying for divorce even after 10 years and have children. They don't mind the welfare of the children. There are no concrete grounds for them to go for divorce but just a little bit of disagreement is enough.
There is no issue in this world that could be hard to find solutions. The Government should plan to set up a counseling body in every district head quarter under the supervision of any reputable person/s and give the petitioners a chance to reconsider their decision. The Courts should take up the case for divorce only under the recommendations of this committee. Doing so will help the couples to lead a happy life forgetting the silly mistakes.
I request marrieds to stay united till the very end of your life and help those who are in need of guidance. Above all talk to one another and find out ways to solve any problem instead of blaming each other. According to the way you were brought up, give first place to God in your life Who is the Master of Universe. Its according to the plan of God you two have been chosen together and married. No man has ever decided it. Particularly for Hindus, there are ample lessons for them to learn from the lives of their ancestors and Epics like Ramayana. There are people to help them out in times of troubles if the couples are ready to speak out.
Here in this blog I have republished one or two articles analyzing the reasons for couples applying for divorce. However such statistics will not be going to help anyway but at least one can understand the menace of "divorce" culture.
Umashankar. K
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
God in our daily lives
Add the God Principle in our daily lives
The source of this inspiring story
from India is shrouded in antiquity.
Origins unknown.
(In the olden days when there were no motor cars, people used to travel on horseback.)
One rich man owned 19 horses when he died. In his last will and testament he had written that upon his death, half the horses he owned should go to his only son; one fourth to the village temple and one fifth to the faithful servant.
The village elders could not stop scratching their heads. How can they give half of the 19 horses to the son? You cannot cut up a horse. They puzzled over this dilemma for more than two weeks and then decided to send for a wise man who was living in a neighbouring village.
The wise man came riding on his horse and asked the villagers if he can be of any help to them. The village elders told him about the rich man's last will and testament which stated that half of the (19) horses must be given to his only son, one fourth must go to the temple and one fifth to the faithful servant.
The wise man said he will immediately solve their problem without any delay whatsoever. He had the 19 horses placed in a row standing next to one another. Then he added his own horse as the 20th horse. Now he went about giving half of the 20 horses – that is ten horses to the son. One fourth of 20- that is 5 horses were given to the temple committee. One fifth of twenty- that is 4 horses were given to the faithful servant. Ten plus five plus four made 19 horses. The remaining 20th horse was his own which he promptly mounted, spoke a few inspiring words, and rode back home.
The villagers were simply dumbfounded, full of disbelief and filled with admiration. And the parting words of the wise man were inscribed in their hearts and minds which they greatly cherished and passed on to their succeeding generations till today.
The wise man said: In our daily lives, in our daily affairs, simply add God’s name and then go about facing the day’s happenings. Ever come across problems in life that are seemingly insurmountable? (Like the villagers, do we feel that such problems cannot be solved?).
The wise man continued: Add the God Principle in our daily lives and the problems will become lighter and eventually will disappear. In the manner of the ice which, with the addition of the heat principle will turn into water, and that will eventually evaporate as steam and disappear. And how do we add God’s name (God principle) in our daily lives? Through prayers, filled with true love and devotion with sincerity of purpose and dedication that only total faith can bring about. Meditation is a powerful means of directing the mind Godward.
But without true love and devotion entering into it, it remains like a boat without water. It is not difficult to push a boat that is floating in water, but extremely hard to drag the same boat on dry land. In the same way, if our life’s boat floats on the waters of true love and devotion, we can sail easily in it. The principle of love of God and devotion with total faith, (like water) makes easy the voyage of our lives. When the mind is pure and the heart full of simplicity and holiness, such a devotee becomes an instrument in the service of the Lord.
The Mother
Mother
From the Mahabharata
Santi Parva: Mokshadharma Parva
Section CCLXVI
Translated by Sri Kisari Mohan Ganguli
Bhishma said:
The mother is the panacea for all kinds of calamities. The existence of the mother invests one with protection; the reverse deprives one of all protection. The man who, though divested of prosperity enters his house, uttering the words, "O mother!"- has not to indulge in grief. Nor does decrepitude ever assail him. A person whose mother exists, even if he happens to be possessed of sons and grandsons and even he himself is hundred years old, but in the eyes of his mother he looks like a child of two years of age. Whether the mother is able or disabled, lean or robust, the son is always protected by the mother. None else, according to the ordinance, is the son’s protector. Then does the son become old, then does he become stricken with grief, then does the world look empty in his eyes, when he becomes deprived of his mother. There is no shelter like the mother. There is no refuge like the mother. There is no defense like the mother. There is no one so dear as the mother. For having borne him in her womb the mother is the son’s dhatri. For having been the chief cause of his birth, she is his janani. For having nursed his young limbs, she is called amva (Amma). For nursing and looking after the son she is called sura. The mother is one’s own body.
There is no mode of life that is superior to serving one’s mother.
From the Mahabharata
Santi Parva: Mokshadharma Parva
Section CCLXVI
Translated by Sri Kisari Mohan Ganguli
Bhishma said:
The mother is the panacea for all kinds of calamities. The existence of the mother invests one with protection; the reverse deprives one of all protection. The man who, though divested of prosperity enters his house, uttering the words, "O mother!"- has not to indulge in grief. Nor does decrepitude ever assail him. A person whose mother exists, even if he happens to be possessed of sons and grandsons and even he himself is hundred years old, but in the eyes of his mother he looks like a child of two years of age. Whether the mother is able or disabled, lean or robust, the son is always protected by the mother. None else, according to the ordinance, is the son’s protector. Then does the son become old, then does he become stricken with grief, then does the world look empty in his eyes, when he becomes deprived of his mother. There is no shelter like the mother. There is no refuge like the mother. There is no defense like the mother. There is no one so dear as the mother. For having borne him in her womb the mother is the son’s dhatri. For having been the chief cause of his birth, she is his janani. For having nursed his young limbs, she is called amva (Amma). For nursing and looking after the son she is called sura. The mother is one’s own body.
There is no mode of life that is superior to serving one’s mother.
Noble Hindu woman according to Mahabharath
What the excellent behaviour is of good and chaste women
Women's duties towards her husband
From the Mahabharata
Anusasana Parva, Section CXXIII
Translated by Sri Kisari Mohan Ganguli
Bhishma said: Once upon a time, in the celestial regions,a lady named Sumana, addressing Sandili possessed of great energy and conversant with the truth relating to everything, said :
'By what conduct and by what course of acts, have you succeeded in attaining to heaven, purged of every sin? You blaze forth with your own energy like a flame of fire. You wear vestments of pure white, and are quite cheerful and at your ease. You shine with energy multiplied a thousand fold. You have not attained to this region of happiness by inconsiderable penances and gifts and vows.'
Thus questioned sweetly by Sumana, Sandili of sweet smiles answered:
'I never, in heedlessness, addressed any disagreeable or evil speech to my husband. I was always devoted to the worship of the deities, the Pitris, and the Brahmanas. Always heedful, I waited upon and served my mother-in-law and father-in-law.
Even this was my resolution that I should never behave with deceit. I never used to stay at the door of our house nor did I speak long with anybody. I never did any evil act; I never laughed aloud; I never did any injury. I never disclosed any secret. Even thus did I bear myself always?
When my husband, having left home upon any business, used to come back, I always served him by giving him a seat, and worshipped him with reverence. I never ate food of any kind which was unknown to my husband and at which my husband was not pleased.
Rising at early dawn I did and caused to be done whatever was brought about and required to be accomplished for the sake of relatives and kinsmen. When my husband leaves home for going to a distant place on any business, I remain at home engaged in diverse kinds of auspicious acts for blessing his enterprise. Verily, during the absence of my husband I never use collyrium or ornaments; I never wash myself properly or use garlands and unguents, or deck my feet with lac-dye, or person with ornaments.
When my husband sleeps in peace I never awake him even if important business required his attention. I was happy to sit by him lying asleep.
I never urged my husband to exert more energetically for earning wealth to support his family and relatives. I always kept secrets without disclosing them to others.
I used to keep always our premises clean. That woman who with concentrated attention, adheres to this path of duty, becomes the recipient of considerable honors in heaven like a second Arundhati."
Bhishma continued: The illustrious and highly blessed Sandili, of righteous conduct, having said these words unto Sumana on the subject of woman's duties towards her husband, disappeared there and then. That man, O son of Pandu, who reads this narrative at every full moon and new moon, succeeds in attaining to heaven and enjoying great felicity in the woods of Nandana.
Women's duties towards her husband
From the Mahabharata
Anusasana Parva, Section CXXIII
Translated by Sri Kisari Mohan Ganguli
Bhishma said: Once upon a time, in the celestial regions,a lady named Sumana, addressing Sandili possessed of great energy and conversant with the truth relating to everything, said :
'By what conduct and by what course of acts, have you succeeded in attaining to heaven, purged of every sin? You blaze forth with your own energy like a flame of fire. You wear vestments of pure white, and are quite cheerful and at your ease. You shine with energy multiplied a thousand fold. You have not attained to this region of happiness by inconsiderable penances and gifts and vows.'
Thus questioned sweetly by Sumana, Sandili of sweet smiles answered:
'I never, in heedlessness, addressed any disagreeable or evil speech to my husband. I was always devoted to the worship of the deities, the Pitris, and the Brahmanas. Always heedful, I waited upon and served my mother-in-law and father-in-law.
Even this was my resolution that I should never behave with deceit. I never used to stay at the door of our house nor did I speak long with anybody. I never did any evil act; I never laughed aloud; I never did any injury. I never disclosed any secret. Even thus did I bear myself always?
When my husband, having left home upon any business, used to come back, I always served him by giving him a seat, and worshipped him with reverence. I never ate food of any kind which was unknown to my husband and at which my husband was not pleased.
Rising at early dawn I did and caused to be done whatever was brought about and required to be accomplished for the sake of relatives and kinsmen. When my husband leaves home for going to a distant place on any business, I remain at home engaged in diverse kinds of auspicious acts for blessing his enterprise. Verily, during the absence of my husband I never use collyrium or ornaments; I never wash myself properly or use garlands and unguents, or deck my feet with lac-dye, or person with ornaments.
When my husband sleeps in peace I never awake him even if important business required his attention. I was happy to sit by him lying asleep.
I never urged my husband to exert more energetically for earning wealth to support his family and relatives. I always kept secrets without disclosing them to others.
I used to keep always our premises clean. That woman who with concentrated attention, adheres to this path of duty, becomes the recipient of considerable honors in heaven like a second Arundhati."
Bhishma continued: The illustrious and highly blessed Sandili, of righteous conduct, having said these words unto Sumana on the subject of woman's duties towards her husband, disappeared there and then. That man, O son of Pandu, who reads this narrative at every full moon and new moon, succeeds in attaining to heaven and enjoying great felicity in the woods of Nandana.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Hindus, please spend few minutes to read the below artcile...!!!
Hereunder I have published an article that exhibits the arrogance of some foreign-funded Christian Missionaries. I request all the Hindus who read this article to spread the message to everyone of your family members and friends and create an awareness to identify the covert Missionaries and their activities to defame the Hinduism. I am not hatred to any other religion but that doesn't mean to bear the injustice done to one particular sect of community.
What made Hindus angry in Karnataka
I was born in a Catholic family. My uncle was a priest, a wonderful man of warmth and compassion and I spent most my early years in Catholic boarding schools. When I was young I wanted to become a missionary and to ‘convert’ pagans in Asia. What I was taught by priests was that Hindus worship false gods and they needed to be brought back to the True Word by Jesus Christ.
Then of course, I came to India and discovered that actually Hindus, far from being the heathens, as had been portrayed in Europe, not only believed God’s diversity, the wonderful concept of avatar, but had given refuge to all persecuted minorities of the world, whether the Syrian Christians, the Parsis, the Jews (India is the only country in the world where Jews were not persecuted), the Armenians, or today the Tibetans.
I am also aghast at the one-sided coverage by the Indian media of the Christian- Hindu problem: blasts after blasts have killed hundreds of innocent Hindus in Varanasi, Delhi, Mumbai train blasts, Jaipur, etc. Yet, neither Manmohan Singh nor Sonia Gandhi has pronounced once the word ‘Islamic terrorism.’ But when furious Hindus, tired of being made fun of, of witnessing their brothers and sisters converted by financial traps, of seeing a 84-year-old swami and his Mataji brutally murdered, of reading blasphemy about their Gods, vent their anger against churches, many of them makeshifts, the Indian government goes after the soft target which the Hindus are. The same thing applies to the United States: they never warned Muslim organisations in India about the killing of Hindus, but when dollars are used to buy new converts and it angers the majority community of India, Washington has the arrogance to issue a warning, and Manmohan Singh does not have the pride to tell the US to mind its own business.
Neither the Indian press nor the western correspondents bothered to write about what made Hindus angry in Karnataka: Newlife, one important western funded missionary centre ( http://www.newlifevoice.org), began making conversions in and around Mangalore by accosting poor people in market areas, or in bus stands, befriending them and then taking them to churches to introduce them to the father.
Upon introduction they were paid Rs 2,500 per person and then taken to the Velankanni shrine, in Tamil Nadu, where they would get another Rs. 3,000.
When they finally converted to Christianity by changing the name, they got an incentive of Rs 10,000 onwards.
Newlife would then give them instructions to abandon wearing tilak on forehead, not to visit and offer prayers at the Hindu temples, replacing the photos and idols of Hindu gods and goddesses with a Cross, etc.
But what really angered local Hindus was when Newlife went one step further and published a book in Kannada — Satya Darshini — which was widely distributed by its missionaries. Here below is the translation of some of the most abusive passages:
“Urvashi” — the daughter of Lord Vishnu — was a prostitute and “Vashistha” was the son of this prostitute.
“He in turn married his own Mother. Such a degraded person is the Guru of the Hindu God Rama.” (page 48).
“When Krishna himself is wallowing in darkness of hell, how can he enlighten others? Since Krishna himself is a shady character, there is a need for us to liberate his misled followers (page 50). It was Brahma himself who kidnapped Sita. “
“Since Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva were themselves victims of lust, it is a sin to consider them as Gods. “ (page 39).
“When the Trinity of Hinduism (Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva) are consumed by lust and anger, how can they liberate others? The projection of them as Gods is nothing but a joke. (page 39). God, please liberate the sinful people of India who are worshiping False Gods.” (Page 39).
When blasphemy and much worse is brought against the most sacred Hindu Gods, Hindus are supposed to take it meekly as sheep and let themselves be converted to a foreign religion! There are more than 4,000 foreign Christian missionaries involved in conversion activities across different states.
In Tripura, there were no Christians at the time of independence. There are 1,20,000 today, a 90 per cent increase since 1991. The figures are even more striking in Arunachal Pradesh, where there were only 1,710 Christians in 1961, but 1.2 million today, as well as 780 churches! In Andhra Pradesh, churches are coming up every day in far-flung villages and there was even an attempt to set up one near Tirupati.
Christians throughout the ages have strived on the concept of persecution and as a brought up Catholic, I remember feeling bad about all those martyred saints of Christianity. Christians in India like to say that they are only two per cent and can do no harm. But it is a sham: in the Tamil Nadu coastal belt from Chennai to Kanyakumari, there must be now 10 per cent Christians post tsunami and the same may be true in other parts of south India.
My heart goes out to Karnataka Chief Minister BS Yeddyurappa who took a courageous stand against unethical Christian conversions, but is now under pressure from the Centre.
The BJP, having learnt from bitter experience that the Congress has no qualm in invoking President’s rule under fallacious pretexts in states which are ruled by non-Congress governments is in a quandary: it must show some action against militant Hindu groups while remaining true to itself.
This is why Yeddyurappa took some action against Hindu groups while saying that his government will not tolerate forcible conversions and will take stringent action against missionaries involved in conversions.
And ultimately, the blame must fall on Hindus: they are 800 million in India, the overwhelming majority; they have the brains, they have the money and they have the power. But either their intellectual and political class sides with the minorities, out of fear, inferiority complex imbedded by the British or just sheer crass political opportunism, or the bigger mass is indifferent inert, selfish, un-civic conscious. Every Hindu is the inheritor of the only surviving spiritual knowledge which at the moment is under a concerted attack by Christian missionaries, Americanisation, Marxism and Islamic fundamentalism.
http://uropinion.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/10/what-made-hindus-angry-francois-gautier.htm
What made Hindus angry in Karnataka
I was born in a Catholic family. My uncle was a priest, a wonderful man of warmth and compassion and I spent most my early years in Catholic boarding schools. When I was young I wanted to become a missionary and to ‘convert’ pagans in Asia. What I was taught by priests was that Hindus worship false gods and they needed to be brought back to the True Word by Jesus Christ.
Then of course, I came to India and discovered that actually Hindus, far from being the heathens, as had been portrayed in Europe, not only believed God’s diversity, the wonderful concept of avatar, but had given refuge to all persecuted minorities of the world, whether the Syrian Christians, the Parsis, the Jews (India is the only country in the world where Jews were not persecuted), the Armenians, or today the Tibetans.
I am also aghast at the one-sided coverage by the Indian media of the Christian- Hindu problem: blasts after blasts have killed hundreds of innocent Hindus in Varanasi, Delhi, Mumbai train blasts, Jaipur, etc. Yet, neither Manmohan Singh nor Sonia Gandhi has pronounced once the word ‘Islamic terrorism.’ But when furious Hindus, tired of being made fun of, of witnessing their brothers and sisters converted by financial traps, of seeing a 84-year-old swami and his Mataji brutally murdered, of reading blasphemy about their Gods, vent their anger against churches, many of them makeshifts, the Indian government goes after the soft target which the Hindus are. The same thing applies to the United States: they never warned Muslim organisations in India about the killing of Hindus, but when dollars are used to buy new converts and it angers the majority community of India, Washington has the arrogance to issue a warning, and Manmohan Singh does not have the pride to tell the US to mind its own business.
Neither the Indian press nor the western correspondents bothered to write about what made Hindus angry in Karnataka: Newlife, one important western funded missionary centre ( http://www.newlifevoice.org), began making conversions in and around Mangalore by accosting poor people in market areas, or in bus stands, befriending them and then taking them to churches to introduce them to the father.
Upon introduction they were paid Rs 2,500 per person and then taken to the Velankanni shrine, in Tamil Nadu, where they would get another Rs. 3,000.
When they finally converted to Christianity by changing the name, they got an incentive of Rs 10,000 onwards.
Newlife would then give them instructions to abandon wearing tilak on forehead, not to visit and offer prayers at the Hindu temples, replacing the photos and idols of Hindu gods and goddesses with a Cross, etc.
But what really angered local Hindus was when Newlife went one step further and published a book in Kannada — Satya Darshini — which was widely distributed by its missionaries. Here below is the translation of some of the most abusive passages:
“Urvashi” — the daughter of Lord Vishnu — was a prostitute and “Vashistha” was the son of this prostitute.
“He in turn married his own Mother. Such a degraded person is the Guru of the Hindu God Rama.” (page 48).
“When Krishna himself is wallowing in darkness of hell, how can he enlighten others? Since Krishna himself is a shady character, there is a need for us to liberate his misled followers (page 50). It was Brahma himself who kidnapped Sita. “
“Since Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva were themselves victims of lust, it is a sin to consider them as Gods. “ (page 39).
“When the Trinity of Hinduism (Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva) are consumed by lust and anger, how can they liberate others? The projection of them as Gods is nothing but a joke. (page 39). God, please liberate the sinful people of India who are worshiping False Gods.” (Page 39).
When blasphemy and much worse is brought against the most sacred Hindu Gods, Hindus are supposed to take it meekly as sheep and let themselves be converted to a foreign religion! There are more than 4,000 foreign Christian missionaries involved in conversion activities across different states.
In Tripura, there were no Christians at the time of independence. There are 1,20,000 today, a 90 per cent increase since 1991. The figures are even more striking in Arunachal Pradesh, where there were only 1,710 Christians in 1961, but 1.2 million today, as well as 780 churches! In Andhra Pradesh, churches are coming up every day in far-flung villages and there was even an attempt to set up one near Tirupati.
Christians throughout the ages have strived on the concept of persecution and as a brought up Catholic, I remember feeling bad about all those martyred saints of Christianity. Christians in India like to say that they are only two per cent and can do no harm. But it is a sham: in the Tamil Nadu coastal belt from Chennai to Kanyakumari, there must be now 10 per cent Christians post tsunami and the same may be true in other parts of south India.
My heart goes out to Karnataka Chief Minister BS Yeddyurappa who took a courageous stand against unethical Christian conversions, but is now under pressure from the Centre.
The BJP, having learnt from bitter experience that the Congress has no qualm in invoking President’s rule under fallacious pretexts in states which are ruled by non-Congress governments is in a quandary: it must show some action against militant Hindu groups while remaining true to itself.
This is why Yeddyurappa took some action against Hindu groups while saying that his government will not tolerate forcible conversions and will take stringent action against missionaries involved in conversions.
And ultimately, the blame must fall on Hindus: they are 800 million in India, the overwhelming majority; they have the brains, they have the money and they have the power. But either their intellectual and political class sides with the minorities, out of fear, inferiority complex imbedded by the British or just sheer crass political opportunism, or the bigger mass is indifferent inert, selfish, un-civic conscious. Every Hindu is the inheritor of the only surviving spiritual knowledge which at the moment is under a concerted attack by Christian missionaries, Americanisation, Marxism and Islamic fundamentalism.
http://uropinion.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/10/what-made-hindus-angry-francois-gautier.htm
Chatrapathi Sivaji 4
This was the limit of Aurangzeb's patience and he was in a great fit of rage. But he checked himself from leading an army against Shivaji. He had known well how sharp the tearing nails of this $mountain rat' were. So he thought of a plan. He decided that he should send a 'Lion' to overpower this lion. He chose for task the King, Raja Jayasimha. (Incidentally, 'Simha' means a lion.) Jayasimha was a great warrior and a hero. He was also a clever general. What a shame that a man like him should he be subservient to a foreigner who was ruling the land! Jayasimha proceeded south with his large army. He won over the Sultan of Bijapur to his side. The battle against Shivaji began. All of a sudden Shivaji wrote a letter to Jayasimha informing him that he would agree to a friendly compromise. What was more, he met Jayasimha and told him that he would remain loyal to the Badshah at Delhi.
Shivaji was a lion that had grown up independently in the mountain ranges of Sahyadri. How then did he all of a sudden agree to bow down to the Badshah? All were baffled. Many thought -that there lay behind this some secret plan. It is possible that Shivaji had planned to go to Delhi on the pretext of serving the Badshah as a dependent and then to put an end to the life of Aurangzeb in a direct encounter. This was perhaps a venture of greater heroism and sharper strategy than ever before in his life. Accordingly, Shivaji proceeded to meet the Emperor, Aurangzeb. His son Sambhaji also accompanied him. At home, in the land of freedom, all were filled with great anxiety. As he proceeded, the Hindu community welcomed him and with great respect showed down to him. Shivaji reached Agra in order to meet Aurangzeb. The latter too was equally tactful. He never let Shivaji approach him. He bid him stay at a distance in the court. This 'was a great disappointment to Shivaji's hopes. Aurangzeb also acted in a manner ' that insulted Shivaji. Aurangzeb did not keep the promise that he would treat him with respect. Naturally Shivaji was greatly enraged. Ignoring Aurangzeb he left the court.
Shivaji was now in great danger. For Aurangzeb was not such a fool as to let an enemy who had come within his reach escape easily. He ordered Shivaji to be imprisoned and to be executed also.
In spite of the gravity of the situation Shivaji did not lose heart. At this critical hour his intellect and his courage shone more brightly. Suddenly Shivaji 'took ill.' He soon grew worse'. Shivaji begged of Aurangzeb that his Maratha soldiers might be allowed to return. Aurangzeb felt relieved 'and permitted them to go. Shivaji began distributing sweets to the Fakirs, mendicants and ascetics of the town hoping that his illness may be cured. He began sending gifts 'also to the wealthy in the town. Aurangzeb permitted all these. Even, such a very clever man as Aurangzeb had no doubts. No Vaidya or Hakim could improve Shivaji's 'condition'. The day of Shivaji's execution had been fixed. On the previous day * Shivaji's 'illness' grew very serious, and he lost 'consciousness'.
As usual the baskets that would carry the sweets were brought in. Shivaji who was lying on his 'sickbed' suddenly jumped into one of the baskets and so did his son Sambhaji. Immediately the servants put on the lids and carried the baskets away.
The sentries who had been examining the baskets were convinced by long custom that they contained nothing but sweets. Even on that day the chief of the sentries, Polad Khan, examined a few of the baskets. They contained merely sweets. Luckily the Khan did not chance upon the baskets in which Shivaji and Sambhaji were hidden. That was by the grace of Goddess Bhavani, coupled with the forgetfulness of the Khan. He must have meant 'Let him live' when he said, 'Let the baskets go.'
Inside the prison where Shivaji had been lying a little while before, a friend of Shivaji by name Hiroji lay down. He put on the royal ring, which Shivaji had given him. He lay down, with his hand, which showed this ring thrust out. The rest of the body had been covered with the blanket. Madari, an innocent looking lad, was massaging the limbs. Polad Khan used to peep in now'. and again just to find out how' ". Shivaji fared. T W day came to a close and it was nightfall. The 'Shivaji' who was lying there all the time got up_ He made up the blankets and the pillows to look like a man on the couch. Putting on his usual clothes, he came out and announced to the sentries that the condition of Shivaji was very serious and that it was a matter of a few hours for Shivaji. He said he- was going to bring some medicine. So saying, he went out. Madari too quietly followed him. Both went away never to return. Inside, on the couch, lay the huddled imitation of Shivaji. Outside the prison the sentries stood with swords drawn.
The day dawned. That was the day appointed for the execution of Shivaji. Polad Khan came in. There was a strange silence. He grew suspicious. As he stepped in, he saw 'Shivaji' asleep. For a moment this sight put some comfort into his heart. But there was no movement. He thought that Shivaji might have died and he came near and pulled back the blanket. He was shocked to see just the bare bed and the pillows! Shivaji had disappeared. You can imagine the feelings of Polad Khan, and more important still, of Aurangzeb. They must have felt the agony of being stung at once by a thousand scorpions. Aurangzeb at once ordered his army to capture Shivaji and the army set out in all directions.
By this time Shivaji and Sambhaji had already mounted the horses that were kept in readiness for them and proceeded towards south. They dashed away at great speed. On the way they were sheltered comfortably in the Maths established by Swami Samarth Ramdas.
Like a holy man in the robes of a 'sanyasi', Shivaji finally reached Raigadh. For a while even his mother Jijabai could not recognize her son. But when she understood who it- was, what a shock of recognition! Who can describe the ecstasy, at such a moment, of a mother who had born such a noble son?
When the news of Shivaji's escape from Agra reached the ears of his enemies in the south, they were all speechless and helpless. Not just that Shivaji's fame spread all over India. Shivaji had thrown dust into the eyes of the greatest schemer and politician like Aurangzeb and had escaped from the latter's capital where all the twenty-four hours of the day sentries stood with drawn swords. He had evaded the gaze of the Moghul soldiery for a distance of a thousand miles. The world had never before heard of such daring and cleverness.
Courtesy: http://freeindia.org/biographies/greatlkings/shivaji/page3.htm
Shivaji was a lion that had grown up independently in the mountain ranges of Sahyadri. How then did he all of a sudden agree to bow down to the Badshah? All were baffled. Many thought -that there lay behind this some secret plan. It is possible that Shivaji had planned to go to Delhi on the pretext of serving the Badshah as a dependent and then to put an end to the life of Aurangzeb in a direct encounter. This was perhaps a venture of greater heroism and sharper strategy than ever before in his life. Accordingly, Shivaji proceeded to meet the Emperor, Aurangzeb. His son Sambhaji also accompanied him. At home, in the land of freedom, all were filled with great anxiety. As he proceeded, the Hindu community welcomed him and with great respect showed down to him. Shivaji reached Agra in order to meet Aurangzeb. The latter too was equally tactful. He never let Shivaji approach him. He bid him stay at a distance in the court. This 'was a great disappointment to Shivaji's hopes. Aurangzeb also acted in a manner ' that insulted Shivaji. Aurangzeb did not keep the promise that he would treat him with respect. Naturally Shivaji was greatly enraged. Ignoring Aurangzeb he left the court.
Shivaji was now in great danger. For Aurangzeb was not such a fool as to let an enemy who had come within his reach escape easily. He ordered Shivaji to be imprisoned and to be executed also.
In spite of the gravity of the situation Shivaji did not lose heart. At this critical hour his intellect and his courage shone more brightly. Suddenly Shivaji 'took ill.' He soon grew worse'. Shivaji begged of Aurangzeb that his Maratha soldiers might be allowed to return. Aurangzeb felt relieved 'and permitted them to go. Shivaji began distributing sweets to the Fakirs, mendicants and ascetics of the town hoping that his illness may be cured. He began sending gifts 'also to the wealthy in the town. Aurangzeb permitted all these. Even, such a very clever man as Aurangzeb had no doubts. No Vaidya or Hakim could improve Shivaji's 'condition'. The day of Shivaji's execution had been fixed. On the previous day * Shivaji's 'illness' grew very serious, and he lost 'consciousness'.
As usual the baskets that would carry the sweets were brought in. Shivaji who was lying on his 'sickbed' suddenly jumped into one of the baskets and so did his son Sambhaji. Immediately the servants put on the lids and carried the baskets away.
The sentries who had been examining the baskets were convinced by long custom that they contained nothing but sweets. Even on that day the chief of the sentries, Polad Khan, examined a few of the baskets. They contained merely sweets. Luckily the Khan did not chance upon the baskets in which Shivaji and Sambhaji were hidden. That was by the grace of Goddess Bhavani, coupled with the forgetfulness of the Khan. He must have meant 'Let him live' when he said, 'Let the baskets go.'
Inside the prison where Shivaji had been lying a little while before, a friend of Shivaji by name Hiroji lay down. He put on the royal ring, which Shivaji had given him. He lay down, with his hand, which showed this ring thrust out. The rest of the body had been covered with the blanket. Madari, an innocent looking lad, was massaging the limbs. Polad Khan used to peep in now'. and again just to find out how' ". Shivaji fared. T W day came to a close and it was nightfall. The 'Shivaji' who was lying there all the time got up_ He made up the blankets and the pillows to look like a man on the couch. Putting on his usual clothes, he came out and announced to the sentries that the condition of Shivaji was very serious and that it was a matter of a few hours for Shivaji. He said he- was going to bring some medicine. So saying, he went out. Madari too quietly followed him. Both went away never to return. Inside, on the couch, lay the huddled imitation of Shivaji. Outside the prison the sentries stood with swords drawn.
The day dawned. That was the day appointed for the execution of Shivaji. Polad Khan came in. There was a strange silence. He grew suspicious. As he stepped in, he saw 'Shivaji' asleep. For a moment this sight put some comfort into his heart. But there was no movement. He thought that Shivaji might have died and he came near and pulled back the blanket. He was shocked to see just the bare bed and the pillows! Shivaji had disappeared. You can imagine the feelings of Polad Khan, and more important still, of Aurangzeb. They must have felt the agony of being stung at once by a thousand scorpions. Aurangzeb at once ordered his army to capture Shivaji and the army set out in all directions.
By this time Shivaji and Sambhaji had already mounted the horses that were kept in readiness for them and proceeded towards south. They dashed away at great speed. On the way they were sheltered comfortably in the Maths established by Swami Samarth Ramdas.
Like a holy man in the robes of a 'sanyasi', Shivaji finally reached Raigadh. For a while even his mother Jijabai could not recognize her son. But when she understood who it- was, what a shock of recognition! Who can describe the ecstasy, at such a moment, of a mother who had born such a noble son?
When the news of Shivaji's escape from Agra reached the ears of his enemies in the south, they were all speechless and helpless. Not just that Shivaji's fame spread all over India. Shivaji had thrown dust into the eyes of the greatest schemer and politician like Aurangzeb and had escaped from the latter's capital where all the twenty-four hours of the day sentries stood with drawn swords. He had evaded the gaze of the Moghul soldiery for a distance of a thousand miles. The world had never before heard of such daring and cleverness.
Courtesy: http://freeindia.org/biographies/greatlkings/shivaji/page3.htm
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