August 1: When eight-year-old Shrutimaya told her parents that she would never go to her friend’s place again, they thought their child was being stubborn. However, when she stated her reason, their dismissive reponse gave way to shock, revulsion, horror and anger.
When Shrutimaya, who lives with her parents at a posh locality in the city, was at her classmate’s place recently for a school assignment, their cook undressed her, squeezed her breasts and touched her genitals on the pretext of taking her to the bathroom.
Almost every week in Chennai, at least a dozen parents like Shrutimaya’s confront the most horrific situation of their lives. They find that their little darling was abused, exploited, raped, sodomised (or whatever you want to call it) by a sexual predator. And most of the time, they do not know what to do about it.
The city police, on an average, receive two to three such complaints every week. “We advise the parents to seek psychological help from therapists or counsellors as there is not much we can do unless there is visible injury and the parents prefer a complaint,” says a city police inspector on condition of anonymity. “These complaints usually reach senior officers who forward them to us and ask us to help without any paperwork.”
For Vidya Reddy of Tulir, one of the few organisations across the country that works in the field of child sexual abuse, the most frustrating part is the helplessness. “Over the years, we have learnt to deal with it. In 90 per cent of the cases, the abuser is a close confidant of the victim’s family and is protected by the same relatives. The blame is instead thrust on the child for what happened,” she says. Tulir receives at least three new cases of child sexual abuse every week. “We have managed to take a few cases to court, but that’s as far as we have been,” says Ms Reddy.
Last week, the parents of 11-year-old Meena approached Tulir after they found that her maternal uncle had been molesting her for the past several months. “Despite having full knowledge of the horrendous acts performed on the child, the family preferred to hush up the issue as the girl’s elder sister was interested in the molester’s son, who was seen as a good match for their daughter,” volunteers at the NGO said.
So, what can be done about it? “The best thing to do is to trust your child when they complain about something. Besides, it is always a good idea for parents to be a little paranoid about strangers and alien homes for the good of their child,” says senior child psychiatrist, Dr Mohan Raj.
Shrutimaya, meanwhile, is back in school and learning to cope with life after abuse. Her parents are frustrated that the cook in her friend’s home was not even dismissed. At times, Shrutimaya asks her parents: “Will they at least charge the cook Rs 100 as fine for what he did to me?”
(Some names changed)
Source: http://www.deccanchronicle.com/chennai/have-antennae-shield-children-perverts-847
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